Finally Saying "Buon Appetito!" With Meaning
Brett Cavalli loves food. Not just for the taste or aroma, but also for the way it can affect someone's mood, help them experience a new culture, and bring people together.
Brett was able to turn his gastronomic passion into a career as a managing partner of a national Italian restaurant chain offering both a regular and a gluten-free menu. What makes Brett's devotion to food especially interesting is the fact that he has battled Crohn's disease since he was 13 years old.
Brett's Crohn's diagnosis didn't come easily. He suffered with symptoms and was misdiagnosed for 16 years. At age 29, he was finally properly diagnosed with Crohn's following an emergency surgery to remove 11 inches of his small intestine. Although it was something of a relief to finally know what was causing his symptoms, Brett recalls that being diagnosed "became frightening after online research yielded only horror stories."
Because Brett had a hard time communicating what he was going through, he often kept to himself and as a result found it difficult to develop a support system. "You don't want people to know about it," he said. But he realized that he couldn't get beyond Crohn's by avoiding the issue and keeping it to himself. As he began to open up, he realized how valuable it was to talk about what he was going through.
That is where the power of food and its ability to bring people together came into play. The restaurant was a perfect outlet for someone with Crohn's disease since, in addition to the standard menu, there are choices that cater to those with special dietary requirements. For example, the menu includes gluten-free choices that have a devoted following of 40 to 50 regular customers who dine at the restaurant each week. These gluten-free selections also help keep Brett's Crohn's in check. The food at the restaurant has brought people together who might not otherwise have met.
Brett may have been reserved before his diagnosis, but there is nothing quiet about the lively atmosphere or reserved about the conversations he has with his patrons who regularly eat at the restaurant and share details of their struggle with the disease. "I recently met someone at the restaurant who had been diagnosed with Crohn's and she was very relieved to connect with another person who had gone through the same thing," Brett recalls. "It's fulfilling to be able to help others starting out on the Crohn's journey to work through what I endured alone for so long."
Brett still loves everything about food, and has had to make his own diet modifications to help keep his symptoms under control. He monitors what and how much he eats and stays optimistic and hopeful that there will one day be a cure for Crohn's.
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NEXT: Read Craig's story
A Journey Toward Support and Understanding
Memphis native Craig Melton was about to begin 9th grade when his Crohn's disease surfaced during a camping trip to Colorado with his church youth group. After a long hike and campfire dinner, he and his buddies crawled into their tent with a broken zipper and fastened the flap using multiple safety pins. Within minutes, Craig's bowels began rumbling and he felt a sudden and urgent need for the "outdoor" bathroom. Fumbling in the dark, he ripped through the makeshift door, ran what seemed a great distance to relieve himself — only to find he had squatted just feet behind a fellow camper's tent.
"I figured I'd be the butt of jokes for the rest of our trip," Craig recalls, "but when I returned to my sleeping bag, nobody said a word; my friends showed me mercy." In that moment, Craig learned the value of supportive friends. "High school is awkward enough without the constant need for the boy's bathroom, which was basically unusable — no clean toilet paper or stall doors," he recalls. As a result, he endured escalating abdominal pain from "holding it in" daily. After school, he'd race to a private bathroom at his mom's office before heading to his job at a golf shop.
The diagnosis in his senior year was a step in the right direction, but controlling the recurring diarrhea, vomiting, and even fistulas, proved tougher. In college, he struggled to maintain a healthy weight, falling at one point to a mere 110 pounds. His energy level was just enough to wake up, eat, and get to class. But his friends stuck by him through these tough years. "They, with my family, were an important part of my support network, which everyone with Crohn's needs." After college, he continued working with his doctor to find effective treatment and, finally, he improved. He returned to school to pursue his passion of sports and earned a master's degree in sports and leisure commerce. He's now the recreational director at his church. "For the most part I live what you call a normal life," Craig says. "In fact, many people are surprised to find out I have Crohn's." Not long ago, Craig got married and now looks forward to starting a family with his wife, who happens to be a nurse. Craig has learned that keeping the people close to him informed about his health and feelings is essential to finding and maintaining the right network of support. "I now make sure those I care about know what I'm feeling. They can't read my mind." And while managing Crohn's may be a long journey, "With some support and understanding from loved ones we 'Crohnies' can live very productive lives."
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NEXT: Read Theresa and Melissa's story
Connecting on the Subject of Crohn's
In the winter of 2008, two strangers, both living with Crohn's, were introduced to one another and quickly found themselves sharing stories and comparing their experiences of living with the disease. Theresa Holzknecht and Melissa Huppin talked, cried, and even laughed about their experiences, and discovered that in many ways their lives had followed similar paths. And yet, the two couldn't be more different.
Theresa is a 39-year-old mother of two, a wife, and a teacher-turned-photographer. Melissa is a single, 21-year-old graduate school student on her way to earning a teaching degree. Despite these differences, both have moved beyond the boundaries of Crohn's and have gained a perspective on life that does not let Crohn's stand in the way of their dreams and passions. The strength derived from adversity led them both to become Crohn's advocates, laying the foundation for a lifelong friendship.
Here they candidly share their experiences about making it through some of life's most difficult times.
The Importance of a Support System
Melissa Huppin: I'm lucky in that I've always had a wonderful support system. My dad actually has Crohn's and my mom has ulcerative colitis, so I always had someone to talk to about my Crohn's. And, at school, a friend of mine introduced me to a friend of hers who had Crohn's. We have so many of the same experiences and it's great to share that connection with someone my own age. I find it's important to build a network of people that understand you.
Theresa Holzknecht: I agree. Finding someone who can relate to you does wonders. One of my best friends also has Crohn's, and we call each other each week to talk about life, and inevitably our Crohn's comes up in conversation. It's important to find friends that understand you. They may not be in the exact same situation as you, but we both know the importance of finding people who are understanding and can empathize.
MH: My advice is: Don't socially isolate yourself. There are people out there who you can trust to understand; it just takes some time to find them.
Telling Employers About Crohn's
MH: I'm in my second year of graduate school, and in less than two years I will be a certified teacher. Right now, I'm mostly just excited to start my career. There are times, though, when I get nervous about how I'm going to handle being in charge of a class. It's a physically demanding job and I'll be on my feet all day. I won't have the option of leaving my classroom if I don't feel well.
TH: I can really relate; I used to be an art teacher for high school students and it was definitely hard sometimes. I actually didn't tell the school about my condition until I absolutely had to. I was afraid of what people might think of me. Looking back, I wish I had been more open with them because I know they would have been able to better understand me.
MH: I sometimes wonder if someone will want to hire me or will think differently if they know about my Crohn's. I know I will end up telling my future employers, but the timing will depend on the status of my health. If I'm not doing well, then it will surface more quickly. But I've always found people to be compassionate and caring when I have talked openly about my Crohn's.
TH: In my experience, I have found it better to be forthright and tell your employers upfront about your health condition. People can be generous and supportive. You don't have to keep
everything inside.
Reaching Beyond Boundaries
MH: It is all too easy to get comfortable with your Crohn's and stop challenging yourself. Saying you don't feel well is sometimes easier than going out and taking a risk. Don't use this disease as an excuse for bowing out of life's activities. You must have the will to get better.
TH: Absolutely. A few years ago, my best friend asked me to be a matron of honor at her wedding. I immediately accepted before hearing the details, which included a two week chartered bus tour for the wedding party through Greece, Turkey, and Italy. Despite the fear and horror I felt of not knowing where a bathroom might be, I said "Great! When do we leave?" Afterward, I worked out the logistics and the trip was easier than I'd thought when I began. And it was memorable. I remember, especially, being in Greece and standing before the Parthenon. I felt a special kinship to this ancient temple to Athena, the Goddess of War. She was battered and bruised and was missing a few parts, but she was still a symbol of strength in the face of adversity. The flaws are part of what make Athena and the Parthenon beautiful and, perhaps, the same can be said for me and my life with Crohn's.
MH: I had an epiphany, too, and in the strangest place...I was at a Kanye West concert with my girlfriends. By the middle of the concert, they were all out "there," and I was in "here" — on the toilet keeled over, holding my head in my arms. I was in severe pain, and even worse, I was feeling sorry for myself. I remember hearing the music from within the walls, "That which don't kill me can only make me stronger." Listening to these words served as a catalyst for action in my journey with Crohn's. I realized there was a whole world out there and I knew it was up to me to make myself a part of it. I think there comes a point in everyone's life where they decide they just won't let Crohn's rule their life anymore. I know this happened to me. I suspect this is a decision that is made by a lot of us.
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